What Is Sufferer Mentality? A Definition
Let’s first distinguish between the legit use of the time period “sufferer” and the time period “sufferer mentality.”
We’re all potential victims of injustice, crime, abuse, and bullying. We are going to all expertise trauma in some unspecified time in the future in our lives. But a handful of people will go on to develop a “sufferer mentality” (Andronnikova & Kudinov, 2021).
It’s essential to know {that a} sufferer mentality is normally primarily based on a legit expertise of victimization in some unspecified time in the future in a person’s historical past. The distinction is that this expertise has distorted their worldview and interpersonal experiences, typically as a result of poor coping methods and psychological inflexibility (Gabay et al., 2020).
It’s a painful mind-set that forestalls any chance of peace and contentment. In response to Kaufman (2020, para. 6), a current assessment of analysis research on sufferer mentality discovered it consists of 4 fundamental traits:
“always searching for recognition for one’s victimhood, ethical elitism, lack of empathy for the ache and struggling of others, and regularly ruminating about previous victimization.”
Let’s unpack this a bit and discover what every of those traits really means.
1. Always searching for recognition for one’s victimhood
An individual with a sufferer mentality seeks validation of their sufferer standing from others. This can be expressed as fixed complaining about setbacks or perceiving modifications in circumstances as unfair.
Different individuals are required to agree that these occasions quantity to a personally directed injustice, or else they too will probably be accused of victimizing the individual (Gabay et al., 2020).
2. Ethical elitism
An individual with a sufferer mentality implicitly believes in their very own ethical superiority. In brief, they’re proper, and those that disagree with them or have totally different views are unsuitable. This may be summed up within the colloquial expression “it’s my approach or the freeway.”
It factors to black-and-white considering, a scarcity of nuance, and an lack of ability to deal with complexity. It might be expressed in a way of entitlement to no matter is outlined as “good,” no matter effort or benefit. Once more, it additionally signifies a scarcity of psychological flexibility that’s required to bounce again and develop resilience (Gabay et al., 2020).
3. Lack of empathy for the ache and struggling of others
An individual caught in a sufferer mentality is self-absorbed with little capacity to think about different views. It doesn’t matter how a lot one other individual could also be struggling; if they don’t present ongoing validation of perceived victimization, they threat being deemed a victimizer.
These with a sufferer mentality lack emotional literacy, compassion, and empathy. That is deeply disruptive to every kind of relationships, each private {and professional}. It may result in rejection, isolation, and loneliness, which is usually seen as additional proof of unfairness (Gabay et al., 2020).
4. Ruminating about previous victimization
Rumination entails repetitive ideas about earlier unfavorable experiences, which might result in a low temper, together with emotions of disgrace, unhappiness, despair, and even melancholy (Kaufman, 2020).
Clearly, an individual caught in a sufferer mentality is in ache, struggling, and has poor psychological well being.
Whereas these “victims” could possibly forge codependent relationships with these prepared to “rescue” them by providing them unconditional validation and assist, relationships with impartial, wholesome adults will possible elude them as a result of their lack of ability to course of battle or maintain wholesome boundaries (Kaufman, 2020).
The rest of this text will dig deeper into the kind of persona that’s most weak to growing a sufferer mentality earlier than explaining how a coach, counselor, or therapist can assist a shopper develop the resilience required to beat a sufferer mindset (Graham, 2018).
Taking part in the Sufferer – A Mentality Dysfunction?
A person with a sufferer mentality operates in keeping with an exterior locus of management, which means they consider they’ve little or no private company and attribute their difficulties, failures, or challenges to exterior elements, different individuals, or conditions they will’t change.
Whereas a sufferer mentality is a brittle and painful mind-set, it will also be a type of manipulation designed to implement compliance with the “victimized” particular person’s objectives (Kets de Vries, 2012).
Indicators of a sufferer mindset
When an individual performs the sufferer, they could assume the position of sufferer to get their wants met by way of secondary beneficial properties — benefits that accrue from avoiding accountability for his or her issues. Indicators of a sufferer mindset typically embrace the next:
- Blaming others for his or her issues and difficulties
- Externalizing accountability by seeing themselves as passive recipients of unfavorable occasions
- Helplessness as a result of feeling on the mercy of exterior circumstances past their management
- Self-pity, dwelling on perceived misfortunes, and feeling sorry for themselves
- Resisting change or taking proactive steps to enhance their scenario
- Unfavourable outlook on life, anticipating and anticipating unfavorable outcomes