Bad body image day? Or week? Or month ? We have all been there. And summer is especially tough on body image. Sharing five helpful tips for coping with a bad body image day.
Summer is THE toughest season for body image, so if you find yourself struggling right now, know that you are NOT alone.
Why is summer so hard on body image?
- It’s very hot so you’re going to want to wear less clothes. Less clothing means more of your body is exposed, exposing you to more vulnerability.
- It’s swimwear season – need I say more?
- Summer is a season for more social outings and gatherings. This can create a lot of insecurities, especially if your body has changed over the winter and you’re seeing people you haven’t seen in a while.
Our culture doesn’t make it easy for us either. We’re bombarded with ads telling us to “get the bikini ready,” fitness instructors telling us to “take those six-packs of abs to the beach,” and wellness influencers selling us to “feel our best this season” by buying their detox tea.
No wonder you feel so much pressure to change your body in the summer.
Rather than looking for a quick fix to lose weight that will ultimately lead to weight regain, what if you choose to work with your body instead of working against?
What if you chose to face a bad body image day instead of trying to “fix” your body?
Your body doesn’t need fixing. The culture and systems of oppression at play that say your body is not inherently worthy need to be fixed.
5 ways to deal with a bad day (or season) with poor body image
1. Sit in the suction
There is healing and value in sitting in the juice (as body image therapist Bri Campos refers to it). We need to validate our emotions. Allowing grief, sadness and anxiety to overwhelm and cross us.
There is a deep and valid grief that arises in the recognition that we live in a fat-phobic society that is not accommodating to fat bodies.
Allow yourself to feel your feelings – give them space. Maybe you treat them in therapy (with a fat-positive therapist or dietitian).
Sweeping your emotions under the rug will only create a buildup and once there is no room under that rug, those pent up emotions are going to feel BIG and intense because they have been bottled up for so long.
You can’t get toxic positivity out of a bad body image day. Give yourself the grace and validation of how you feel. Hold on tenderly.
2. Know what your “exit ramps” are.
Poor body image can make you feel like you’re driving on a roundabout and you keep going around and around because you don’t see any exit ramps (yell at Marc Evans for this analogy!). You are stuck in it and struggling to find a way out.
While it’s important to honor and sit with your feelings, you don’t want to be in your feelings 24/7. When you’re ready to leave the rotary, remember what your exit ramps are — they’re tools, skills, practices, and actions that make you feel better.
Your exit ramps (or your body image toolkit) will be unique to you. Here are some examples that might interest you (feel free to add them to your rotary!):
- meditation
- dancing
- singing
- art
- walk outside
- get into nature
- elongation
- drink water
- take a shower
- swimming
- call a friend
- love a pet
- write or keep a diary
- lifting weights
- yoga
- listen to a favorite podcast
- get a massage or use self-massage
- light a candle
- buy fresh flowers
- use a mantra
- practice gratitude
- take a nap or rest
- read a favorite book
- sip hot tea
- wrap oneself in a cozy blanket
- visit your favorite cafe
3. Aim for 5% better.
What small action can you take today to feel 5% better? I like the concept of 5% better because it takes some of the pressure off.
When it comes to body image, there are so many positive body messages that tell you to love your body, and it creates another unrealistic ideal to aspire to. It’s another thing to feel like you’re failing.
Better body image doesn’t mean loving your body or loving how you look. It means taking care of your body, treating it with respect, listening to and honoring its cues.
You don’t need to aim to feel 100% better, because that’s also not realistic given the oppressive culture we live in. But can you commit to something that makes you feel 5% better? You are aiming for subtle change. A small act.
Hilary Kinavey and Dana Sturtevant, authors of Recover body confidence, tell their customers and community members to aim for C-work. Again, we’re not looking for A+ body image work — that’s going to set us up for perfectionism and black-and-white thinking, which is inherent in food culture and white supremacy.
Can you aim for body image work in C? Can you aim to feel 5% better today?
4. Practice self-compassion and mindfulness.
Mindfulness allows us to sit with that which is non-judgmental. It goes back to what I was talking about earlier with sitting in a vacuum. Notice the feelings that are coming your way right now and give them space to move through you.
Mindfulness also keeps us open and curious – maybe you can be curious about what caused the bad body image day. Was there a trigger?
Maybe you’ve seen photos of yourself on Facebook that you didn’t like. Maybe you are at that point in your cycle where you are very bloated. Maybe you’ve spent too much time scrolling through Instagram comparing your body to others.
Knowing your triggers can also be helpful in coping with poor body image days. It lets you name what’s going on and provides some context. “Oh that makes a lot of sense, I’m having a bad body image day today because I’m on day 14 of my cycle.”
Gathering information and data can also be empowering because it helps you feel less powerless about why you might feel a certain way.
You can also dig a little deeper – if the narrative in your head says “I feel fat”, see if you can dig a little deeper and ask yourself “What else am I feeling right now?” You might notice that you feel exhausted after a very busy few weeks at work, maybe you feel a lot of grief after the loss of a loved one, maybe you feel stressed because of a conflict with a friend.
Body image is often a window into our deeper emotional experiences. You focus on body image because it’s familiar to you and you feel like there’s something you can change or fix. And it’s easier to focus on the body than on the deeper, more painful emotions for which there may not be an immediate solution.
Again, this is an opportunity to practice self-compassion. Speak with kindness and understanding. “Oh honey, of course you feel bad about your body right now. You’ve had a very stressful few weeks at work and you’re totally exhausted. It makes perfect sense that you don’t feel good about your body right now.
Self-compassion is the key. ask yourself, how can i talk to my best friend who is having a tough day on body image? Can you afford some of that kindness?
5. Name it to get away from it.
As humans, we tend to over-identify with our thoughts. A bad body image day can lead you to tell yourself things like:
I have the worst body image.
I hate my body.
I will never have a good relationship with my body.
I’m so rude.
Rather than saying, I have the worst body image or I hate my body, can you try saying “I notice I have a poor body image”.
Not only does this create some distance from the thought, but it also serves as a reminder that this feeling is fleeting and temporary. It doesn’t need to define you.
Were these tips helpful to you? If so, let me know in the comments below. I’D LOVE to hear from you!
For more blog posts related to body image:
3 Ways to Navigate When Clothes Don’t Fit (Without Another Diet!)
How to make your social media more positive for your body
Can you lose weight with intuitive eating?
Never miss a blog post! Sign up to receive my monthly newsletter with a roundup of blog posts from the previous month and get my FREE guide when you sign up: Rediscover the joy of eating: 5 simple steps to stop stressing over food + enjoy every bite.